To All Who Ask Questions...
I have rehearsed an experience i had while working as a chaplain at one of the hospitals in Dayton. Although i was on the Advanced Care Unit, i had a chance to repond to a call in the mental health unit. During our orientation, our supervisor/professor took us to the mental health floor, and he shared that we should never enter a room without assessing how to leave quickly, because on this unit, the behavior of the patients is never predictable.
One of the biggest teaching tools was, he said, making sure you had an easy exit, in case you had to get out of there, quick, fast, and in a hurry. Some of the patients had a tendecy to act violently, and when that happened, we needed to get out quickly or become another senseless victim of violence. Well i had that teaching in the back of my mind as i made my way to the area of the hospital that requires special access and permission. I was both nervous and excited. This, in my own little twisted mind, was what ministry was about. Walking with people who were truly hurting, and their pain was more than what a bandaid or surgery could fix. These people, often times, had deeper issues.
I rushed to the floor, thinking i had all the plans in place to ensure my safety but also make sure the patient knew i was there for her.
To make sure that this blog doesn't creep into thesis length, i will jump forward to the good stuff, at least what i deem as the good stuff. I sat down in her room, making sure i had a clear exit lane, in case she saw me as an enemy and chose to attack. I was so far away, though, and she seemed so sweet, peaceful, serene. I moved closer, putting my chair between the two beds, not leaving myself a clear exit, and she moved closer to. Nothing separated us now, except the width of her bed, and i could hear her well, sense her pain, and i was doing what i loved, ministering to someone in need.
I did mention she was sweet, right? Well in a blink of an eye the conversation turned to her husband, and she went from sweet to violent and vengeful and malicious, in less than a second. Not only was she cussing up a storm, something that caught me off guard, but this librarian with a master's degree, was holding a sharp looking instrument in her hand, caressing it like she had a purpose for it. I got nervous. Looked for the quick exit, and i realized if she jumped, i would have to figure out how to levitate, quickly, or pull the greatest Matrix move ever, or let this woman impale me with whatever object she had.
Thank you Jesus for quick changes. She went from violent to sweet, within a second, talking about God, books, and her children. I didn't have to levitate or get stabbed, but i still feel a need to learn some cool Matrix moves. I rehearse this story, hoping it brought levity and laughter to any who read this blog, but also because it reflects the confusion that can come with sudden changes in personalities and thinking.
Why now though? Because last week we have Jesus praising Peter for being touched by God, and Jesus says to Peter, then Simon, "Upon this rock i will build my church..." Peter goes from receiving special revelation from the Divine to what Jesus says to him this time, "Stand behind me Satan..." From rock foundation for the church to the arch enemy of the church; that's a wild ride and quick change that must have caused Peter to shake his head and wonder what was wrong with Jesus.
But this is, i sense, more about Peter's fallibility and God's amazing choices for His purpose. Peter is still as human as ever, saying godly things one day, and then the next sticking his foot in his mouth, causing the Messiah to say, "Stand behind me Satan..." It reveals something to me that i think the church needs to spend more time with: to follow Jesus is not about perfect theology or purity of thought and ideas, but about a heart to love, to serve, and to be as authentic as one can be about a faith and a Savior that loves to challenge the status quo more times than i can count.
To be people of authentic faith, we will spend the rest of our days standing between the tension of being touched by God in one situation while offending the divine in the next. The key, as Peter illustrates, is not to stay offensive but to strive to do better, love better, and live better. More than that, as Peter demonstrates in Acts, it means to be open to learning, growing, and maturing in the faith, no matter our age. If we remain open to learning, growing, and maturing, then we, just as Peter experienced, will hear the powerful words: Well done good and faithful, no matter how sketchy our life's journey may be. And hearing those words, at the end of the journey, is all we could ever ask for. Amen.
Shalom,
jerry
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