Dear Family,
I question much about my life and where i end up after my journey on earth is done. I cannot, with one hundred percent certainty, claim that i know i am going to heaven. I am not God. I don't know if there will be a final exam where all the good i did not do is measured against what little good i do, or where the sins of my life are measured to the acts of grace, truth, and obedience. Will i pass that test? I just dont know. I can't say.
I realize that there are many who suggest and implore church folks to 'be saved' as if one bold, and in the way of Jesus is always bold, faith statement answers all questions and exams for eternity. I just dont know. And in the same way when i intentionally argue with Kendra or some other member of the Kingdom, or i dont pay enough attention to my children or wife or any other sister or brother in the Church does that add marks, like in grade school, to a name chalked up illustrating how far i can fall? If there are enough marks do i lose? Fail? Face a dark, twisted eternal fate, like watching "High School Musical" for the whole of my existence?
I just dont know. When my faith fails to be what it is supposed to be: patient, kind, endearing, loving, understanding, accepting, obedient, disciplined, etc, how can i know if i am still in the salvation club? Is there any way, shape, or form for any of us to judge whether we are still following the difficult and trying way of Jesus? Is there some gauge that we can look at and find the answers to our perplexing reality?
In a word--YES!
How can we know? What do we feel when we see injustice winning and justice being denied to a people? Do we hurt? Do we feel this deep ache in our being that says, that just aint right? If we do, that's Jesus. (A caveat--in order for us to claim it truly is Jesus, we need to understand what mattered most to Jesus, and i am not going to give that answer here... read the Gospels and discover who Jesus loved more than any other...)
How can we know? Do we cry, sometimes bawl, when we see something beautiful, like unconditional love, like the grace the Amish lived after the horrific shooting a few years ago? That crying, wailing, that beautiful weep, which seems to be unstoppable, yeah its Jesus.
I could go on and on. When someone hurts, truly hurts, do we feel a deep sense of sorrow for them? Jesus. Do we feel joy when someone seems so happy, so full of life, we just want to dance with them? Jesus. And when someone gets the bad news of cancer or some other debilitating disease, do we go to their side and just sit, quietly, not saying a word? Yep, that too is Jesus.
What do all of these acts, whether joy or sorrow, laughter or tears, anger or elation, have in common? Compassion. We feel for others. We share in their good times, and we lament with them during their seasons of doubt, desert, and pain. Compassion, i feel, is THE ultimate marker of someone who follows Jesus. Do we have compassion for people, even the most vile human being? Do we regret their death? Do we wish them well? Do we hope that they find meaning and truth and freedom from what causes them to be so ugly? That deep desire, which goes beyond demanding they pay for their sins, is Jesus flowing from our inner being, illuminating something so deep, so amazing, and so real that the world just can not understand how we can be so other worldly. Compassion, in the way of Jesus, stretches us to love and pray for friend, family, and foe.
No more than that, Christ like compassion forces us to focus our prayers, our love, and our concerns more on foe than family or friend. That is the way of compassion. That is the way of salvation. And that, brothers and sisters, is the way of Jesus. No other way counts. No other way works. And no other ways brings abundant life.
I question much about my journey, but when the tears of compassion swell up, seemingly beyond understanding, it is Jesus affirming, to me, that all is well. For that, i am grateful. Amen.
Shalom
Salam
Peace.... Until the Prince of Peace shows us what being Peacemakers truly means...
Jerry
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